insects

Internet users know what they want and today, when they're not searching for info on celebrities and magazines about celebrities, they're doing Internet searches for "ovipositors." What's an ovipositor? The simple answer is that it's an egg-laying organ generally located on the tail end of an insect's abdomen. But ovipositors are far more than mere insect reproductive organs. Ovipositors have evolved to keep pace with the needs of their owners to place eggs in ever-more-secure or beneficial locations. For this reason, cicadas and grasshoppers developed spiked ovipositors to better deposit their young in the ground or in the stems of plants. Wasps took this concept even further, as their ovipositors are tailor-made to pierce the carapaces of other living creatures, thus laying their precious offspring inside their first meal. They even evolved to offer a venomous punch, so as to subdue their victim for this brutal surgery.

Human sexuality tends to provide us with enough complexity on its own, but the occasional glance at the rest of the animal kingdom helps put everything in perspective. Yep, according to a new study, the beetles with the "longest and spiniest genitalia" experience the most success in passing on their genes. National Geographic even provides a photo gallery of "bizarre beetle genitalia" if your boss isn't watching over your shoulder. Scientists believe these spines help to anchor the male in place for the duration of the coupling, internally injuring the female in the process. Don't drag all your anthropomorphic baggage into this, though. I think doomed mad scientist Seth Brundle put it best in "The Fly." "Have you ever heard of insect politics?" he asks. "Neither have I. Insects don't have politics. They're very brutal. No compassion, no compromise."